Here’s a tool that can help you release bottled up anger. It’s a writing exercise, and the idea is to fully express your anger — with the purpose of letting it go.
Here’s what to do:
Choose something that you’re angry about or someone with whom you’re angry and write about it. Why are you angry? What do you want to say to this person or about the matter?
Writing on paper works better than using a computer, but the latter will work, too.
Write exactly what you want to say, expressing it exactly how you feel — no holding back — using words that only you would use (including expletives). Don’t worry about being polite. No one is going to read what you have written, except for you.
Write as many pages as are necessary to release all of your anger. If you’ve written several pages and you’re still feeling even the tiniest bit angry, then you’re not done. Don’t stop writing until you’ve released the last drop of anger about this matter within your being.
Do not share what you have written with anyone. Destroy the pages or permanently delete the computer file when you are finished.
Do this with each matter/person — especially parents or family members, living or who have passed on. It’s also important to let go of old anger from the past — with an ex, former boss, hostile neighbor, or about a situation or incident.
There are three important benefits.
First, you will feel relieved. It takes a lot of energy to hold onto bad feelings. It’s not good for your emotional well-being, your mood, your outlook on life — or your health.
Second, once the emotional charge is gone, you’ll be able see things more clearly. Then you can reframe the matter so you can reflect on it and take positive, constructive action, as necessary.
Finally, feeling the contrast between how you felt before and after doing the exercise can be informative. You might realize that a problem wasn’t insurmountable, that you overreacted, or (surprise!) you don’t care — i.e. it wasn’t important. If nothing else, it can serve as a reminder for future matters.
Keep in mind that if someone has hurt you that they may not have intended to hurt you or they might have been coming from a place of their own pain. Still, you don’t have to like what they’ve done. Forgiveness can’t be forced or hurried, but look to forgive them when you are ready. You will feel more peaceful if you can let go of the matter altogether. Some spiritual teachings say that forgiveness can also forgive karma.
Even when your anger is justified, it’s never good to hold onto it. Do this exercise whenever and as often as you need to. Feeling lighter, you’ll be happy that you did.
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The Simple Seven © Marlene Veltre 2021 All rights reserved. No portion of this post may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including recording or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of Marlene Veltre. The information in this post is to be used for educational purposes only. It is not intended to serve as a substitute for professional medical advice or to prevent, cure, or heal any illness or disease. You should always see your doctor or health practitioner.